Cracking Natsu's Denseness
by platinum-breaker
Summary: The guild was getting tired of Natsu's denseness. They formed a plan to finally 'crack' his denseness- dragging the poor and innocent Lucy into their mess. Are they going to succeed? (Warning: Natsu and Lucy will be OOC)
1. The 'Plan'

**Hi! I found this unfinished fic on my FT fanfic folder and I suddenly had the urge to finish it. **

**(c) Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.**

* * *

><p>The guild was surprisingly… not rowdy today.<p>

When Lucy Heartfilia passed through the guild doors, she noticed that the people in the guild were gathered in a group. To satisfy her curiosity, she walked closer to her guildmates.

"Good morning guys! What is going on here?" All eyes were on the blonde mage. They seem to be frozen stiff. But after realizing that it was her, they sighed in relief.

"God, it's just you Lucy!" Cana laughed as she approached Lucy and tapped her back.

"Why are you huddled in a group?" She examined the members present. She saw Gray, Erza, Juvia, Wendy, Charle, Mirajane, Lisanna, Elfman, the Raijinshuu, Laxus, Levy, Gajeel, Patherlily, Jet, Droy, Macao, Wakaba, Romeo and other familiar faces were included. '_Are they in a cult or something?' _She quickly dismissed the thought as Cana spoke.

"Oh, we were just talking about Natsu!" Lucy raised her brow as she heard Natsu's name. '_Were they… gossiping about Natsu?'_

"What about Natsu?"

"It's about how dense the flame-brain is!" A very… naked Gray spoke.

"Well, being dense is better than being naked pervert though."

"Oh shit when did that happen!?" Gray scrambled trying to find his clothes.

This time, it was Erza who spoke, "We were just wondering if Natsu could be affected by girls."

Lucy sweatdropped once again as she tried to evade Erza's sword that she unconsciously pointed at her neck. "Uhh Erza we could wonder all day but please… the sword?"

"Oh, sorry. Habit." Erza withdrew her sword.

'_Well those habits might kill someone!'_

"We were forming a plan to make Natsu be affected by the opposite sex!" Levy told Lucy. "Now that Lu-chan's here, we can set the gears in motion!"

'_Wait what!?'_

"Uhm guys? Care to elaborate this… wonderful _**plan**_?" Lucy tapped her foot as she waited for a reply.

"We decided that you'll be the perfect candidate to make this plan happen." Erza answered.

"And why the hell did you think that I'll participate in this stupid plan?" Lucy twitched. '_This is ridiculous!'_

"Because you obviously love Natsu!" Everyone shouted in unison.

"WHAAAAT!?" Lucy blushed as she looked around in panic to check whether other people were listening. Luckily, there was none.

"Don't underestimate the eyes of the resident matchmaker in the guild!" Mira winked at the profusely sweating Lucy.

Lucy tried to protest but was interrupted by Erza's command. "Lucy, you'll do the mission asap."

'_God damn it, Erza and your scary threats!' _"A-Aye…"

'_Natsuuu, save meee'_

* * *

><p>"Erza?"<p>

"What is it, Lucy?"

"Are you sure you wanted to do this?"

"Why I'm sure I have no doubts. If Natsu breaks his denseness, there's a high chance that you'll be keeping him on a leash and reduce the damages on every mission!" Erza stated proudly.

"A-Ah I see. But d-do I really have to uhh wear this?" Lucy shifted uncomfortably on her bed. She was wearing Erza's seduction armor.

"Are you doubting my capability to think of a strategy, Lucy!?"

"NO ERZA I THINK IT'S GREAT!" Lucy nervously chuckled as she backed away from Erza's evil aura.

"Good. Now remember to make Natsu realize about a woman's charm. You are the most qualified of all because you're his partner. Do you understand me?"

"Eh, even if Lucy jumped naked on Flame Brain, I don't think he'll get it. He's an idiot!" Gray laughed until Erza threw him outside Lucy's window.

'_Even if I'm pissed off about Gray's comment, did Erza really have to throw him to next week?!' _Lucy thought.

"We have installed a Lacrima video recorder on your ceiling so that the group could monitor you. And if you need help, just shout and we'll come."

"O-Okay?" _'Okay if something weird happened to us then they're gonna see it!? Great now the guild would see me in this outfit!'_

"Good. Now wait for Natsu and I'll head off to the Guild." Erza jumped off from the window.

"Use the door instead!" Lucy exclaimed. She sighed and plopped onto her bed.

"My friends are crazy. A different kind of crazy. They really are a bunch of—" Lucy screamed out of frustration and buried her head in her pillow.

'_Natsuuuu.'_

* * *

><p>An hour later, Lucy's window lock clicked and opened. She wasn't really shocked to see her Fire Dragon Slayer friend entering her room via window.<p>

"Haven't I told you to use the damn door?"

"Eh, what's the thrill in that Luce?" He grinned.

"Whatever, Natsu. What are you doing here? And where's Happy?" Lucy was covered by her blanket so she wasn't exposed. Yet.

"Happy's with Wendy. Anyway, I'm hungryyyyyyyyy." Natsu whined.

"My house is not a restaurant…" Lucy deadpanned.

"But Luuuuce, I can't even walk to the Guild 'cause I'm too hungryyyyyyy!" Natsu dramatically clutched his stomach and kneeled to the floor.

"Fine!" Lucy abruptly stood up completely forgetting about her attire. _'Oh shit I'm in Erza's seduction armor!'_

Lucy looked at Natsu who was busy jumping in glee because of the promise of Lucy's cooking. She sighed and muttered, "Still unfazed as ever…" Lucy frowned as she headed to the kitchen to make Natsu some food.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at the guild…<strong>

The whole group back in Fairy Tail minus Wendy and Romeo due to uhh reasons (underaged)— who were currently holed up in the stockroom— groaned and slapped their foreheads (while the others were still wiping some blood due to the blonde's… show).

"I'm telling you, that's dipshit's as dense as a rock!" Gray shouted as Juvia wrapped bandages around his bicep – really she's trying her best not to melt— due to Erza's beating earlier.

'_Love-rival really needs to seduce Natsu-san so that she'll not steal Juvia's Gray-sama!' _Juvia thought.

"He's not appreciating Lucy-chan's appeal at all!" Wakaba complained.

"Who in the right mind would resist that!? She's basically letting him devour her—"

"Macao shut up! You're disgusting!" Cana threw her empty barrel towards Macao.

"Ugh Natsu is an idiot!" Lisanna gnawed on her handkerchief out of frustration.

"Poor Lu-chan…" Levy frowned.

"Well, it's just the beginning so let's just sit back and relax, okay?" Mira smiled sweetly as she served her guildmates some drinks to pass the time.

"Tsk. Idiots. Idiots everywhere." Gajeel grunted.

* * *

><p><strong>Back at Lucy's Apartment…<strong>

"Geez, thanks Lucy!" Natsu rubbed his belly as he sunk further Lucy's couch. "Man, that hit the spot!"

"You're welcome." Lucy collected the dishes and then placed them to the sink. She decided she'll wash them later.

"Lucy." Lucy flinched as she realized that Natsu's tone had changed into a serious one. She noticed that she was staring at her, scanning her from head to toe (and his stare lingering at certain places.)

"W-What?" Lucy stammered at she fidgeted.

Natsu stood up until he faced Lucy.

* * *

><p>"LOOK I KNEW IT IT WORKED—" Mira squealed as she saw Natsu approach Lucy and reached for the blonde's shoulders.<p>

"Shh Mira! I can't hear them geez!" Gray complained.

* * *

><p>Natsu stared at Lucy's brown orbs. After a minute of silence, Natsu spoke.<p>

"You look really weird Lucy. Aren't you cold in that?" Natsu's face looked confused as he innocently tilted his head.

* * *

><p>Everyone dropped from their seats.<p>

"This is hopeless!"

"Oh God it's too painful to watch!"

"This is too frustrating!"

"Damn dense idiots! I'm telling you— IDIOTS!"

"Can I just cry now…"

"WAIT!" Lisanna shouted— which she doesn't do often so it shut the guild up.

Mira, who was still wiping her tears, tilted her head and questioned her little sister, "What's up Lisanna?"

"Hey guys maybe if Lisanna was the one who did the 'mission' maybe Natsu may have—" Gray was cut off by Lisanna.

"HELL NO! Look at the screen!" Lisanna pointed at the screen— which showed them the smirking faces of Lucy and Natsu…

"Are they—"

"Smirking at the lacrimacorder?" Everyone chorused.

* * *

><p>Natsu and Lucy looked at each other and grinned.<p>

"So Lucy…" Natsu smirked and pulled Lucy's hand and threw her gently on the bed. "Do you want me to warm you up?"

"I don't know, Natsu." Lucy bit her lip seductively. Her clothes didn't really help either. "Well, I suppose you could fire me up?"

Natsu climbed on the bed and hovered over Lucy's body. "Well then if that's what my queen wants…" He whispered then kissed her passionately on the lips. He broke away after a minute leaving both of them panting.

"But I guess we can't really continue if we have an audience, can we?" Natsu and Lucy looked smugly at the lacrimacorder on Lucy's ceiling before the fire dragon slayer blasted the device.

* * *

><p>The screen turned blank.<p>

Everyone who was watching the two had their jaws dropped on the floor. Well maybe except for Gajeel who was gagging.

"Ugh Salamander did you really have to do that!?" Gajeel groaned.

Gajeel's comment seemed to wake up everyone out of their trance.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?" Everyone shouted in unison.

"Simple, you fuckers were all played by the two little devils." Gajeel snickered.

"Wait Gajeel, you knew!?"

"Dragon slayer thing."

"So wait, Laxus and Wendy knew too!?"

"Lucy was with me the whole time, how could she tell Natsu about our plan?" Erza's asked to defend her hurting pride due to her failed strategy.

"Again, dragon slayer thing. Mates can communicate to each other through telepathy."

"What the fuck!?"

"M-Mates!?"

"Gihee."

"Mates… do you mean they already…?" Levy questioned.

"Mates are lovers to dragon slayers. Just like dragons, we dragon slayers mate for life. We dedicate ourselves to one and only one person. Usually, dragon slayers would recognize their mates on sight— and in Salamander's case, he even brought Bunny Girl home so I'm not sure why you idiots didn't know about those two. And shrimp, yes they did. They did that to seal the deal. Once the deed is done, they're bound to each other forever." Gajeel explained.

Levy blushed at the implication of the iron dragon slayer. "S-So they did... "

"But Natsu is an idiot! A dense idiot who didn't know anything about the other gender! We grew up with him so we know!" Gray interjected. "How the fuck did he even know where to put his miniscule junk!"

"The fuck Gray!?" The girls shouted.

"Turns out you didn't know shit about dragon slayer instincts. He just played his cards well, gihee. Good move if you ask me."

"The fuck!?"

"You were all played by the 'dense' and 'idiot' Natsu Dragneel." Gajeel laughed.

Meanwhile, Mira was trembling from her position. Everyone sensed the dangerous aura surrounding the Demon Take-Over mage so they backed away from her.

"WHY!"

"EEEEEK!" Everyone— Except Erza and Laxus— shrieked in terror.

"WHY DID NATSU CUT OFF THE VIDEO GOD DAMN IT I WANTED TO WATCH!" Mirajane shouted in fury.

"That's your problem!?" Everyone exclaimed.

* * *

><p>After laughing for almost an hour, the two finally calmed down and snuggled in Lucy's bed.<p>

'_We should have installed cameras around them so that we could see their faces.' _Natsu spoke to Lucy through telepathy.

'_Consider it done. Our little secret agent is on his way towards his tower of fish.' _Lucy smugly replied.

"God, I love you so much Lucy." He kissed her cheek and buried his head on the crook of her neck.

"Me too, Natsu." She snuggled further to her mate's warmth. "I love you too damn much."

"I'm excited to return to the guild tomorrow!"

Lucy chuckled. "You played the dense card well, Dragneel. Well played."

"Of course. I've been wanting to see the day that I'll see their gobsmacked faces— and that I got laid before Ice princess!"

Lucy smacked his chest playfully then laughed along with Natsu. "Don't tell them that! It's personal!"

"But you liiiiiiiiiked it~" Natsu rolled his tongue then smirked at the blonde.

"S-stop it!" Lucy buried her face against his chest to hide her intense blushing.

In return, Natsu leaned into her ear and whispered his reply. "That's not what you said last night."

"Eeeeek! Pervert! Who told the guild that Natsu is an idiot at things like this!" Lucy tried to escape from Natsu's firm hold while he laughed hard.

"Lucyyyy, it's not my fault if my dragon slayer instinct suddenly wanted to be a 'pervert'— I became like this because of youuuuu" Natsu whined.

"Ugh you and your dragon slayer instincts!" Lucy groaned.

"Well since at least they know about my 'denseness'— oh Mavis I'll never live this down ever—, don't you think it's time to wear our rings properly?" Natsu suggested.

The two devils smirked, thinking of the guild's faces when they suddenly drop the marriage bomb the next day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry. I just can't help it haha. This isn't the most organized one I've done but whatever I just had to let this out :))<strong>

**Anyway, I'm releasing another chapter- maybe another version of this chapter including Natsu and Lucy's telepathic communication haha! And maybe their return to the guild to announce their marriage =))**

**Thanks for reading! I'm hoping to update my other story, Caught Between Two Worlds, soon. *crosses fingers***

**~platinum-breaker**


	2. What really happened

**AN: This happens during the first chapter's events. Basically, this is chapter one in a different light? I added Natsu and Lucy's telepathy. And more. Heehee. Please reread the previous chapter if you don't remember. You'll understand why haha.**

"text" normal conversation

'_text' _thoughts

"_text"_ telepathy (Lucy)

"_**text"**_ telepathy (Natsu)

**(c) Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.**

* * *

><p>"Natsuuu, let me gooooo~" Lucy whined as she tried to pry her overly-possessive dragon away from her.<p>

"But Lucyyy, I don't want tooooo~" He whined back while tightening his grip around his mate's torso.

"I just need to go home and we'll meet at the guild afterwards!"

"Why can't I go with you?" Natsu rubbed his cheeks against Lucy's.

"Look, you're too damn adorable right now but no, I'm not buying it this time. And I just need to talk to the landlady about rent!" Lucy somehow freed her hands from her captor and stretched Natsu's cheeks.

"Ey den't even knew whei ye esteel keepin yer pleis when we cen jest live tegeder heer in meh hews. (I don't even know why you still keeping your place when we can just live together here in my house.)" Natsu tried to talk with a stretched mouth.

Lucy paused and her cheeks flushed a bit.

"But that's what I was going to talk about with the landlady…" Lucy mumbled.

Finally freed from Lucy's torture, he dropped his jaw in shock. "…Lucy?"

Lucy refused to look into Natsu's eyes but she failed to do so due to her lover's stubbornness. He followed her eyes wherever it went until she got tired and finally looked at him straight in the eyes. Her cheeks were red and puffed and Natsu tried to suppress the urge to kiss her senseless because he needed to confirm something first.

"Lu, are you really…?" Natsu grabbed her shoulders to steady her so that he could see her face properly. "I mean, I was joking— I know our circumstances but—"

Lucy interrupted him by putting a finger on his mouth then her mouth curved into a small smile and shyly nodded.

"…Really?" Natsu whispered as he was still processing the decision of the blonde.

"Yes, Natsu. I think it's time." Her beautiful, _beautiful _chocolate orbs gleamed in delight when she saw her dragon slayer's infamous toothy grin which she loved dearly.

Suddenly, Lucy was lifted off the ground and the couple spun around and around while laughing.

"Oh my Mavis— I don't even… Lu, that's great!" Natsu's face almost looked like it was splitting apart due to his wide grin, "Oh Mavis, I'm so happy—"

Lucy smiled and kissed Natsu on the cheeks. "So that's the reason why you have to let me go right now."

Natsu pouted but eventually released her princess from his hold. Lucy placed a kiss on his lips (which he eagerly returned) then ruffled his salmon hair.

"Let's meet at the guild later, Lu?"

"Yeah. Thank you, Natsu!" Lucy beamed at her lover as she gave him a goodbye hug and kiss before she went on her way back to Strawberry Street. "I love you!"

"I love you, too, Lu! Take care, okay?" Natsu patted Lucy's hair and smiled.

"Okay! You worry too much. I bet we'll still talk after I leave, anyway. Geez, I already got used to your snooping." Lucy teased.

"Hey! It's a perk!"

Lucy winked and waved at Natsu, "I know! Bye!"

Natsu smiled at her beautiful partner and waited until her figure disappeared along the horizon.

"Maybe I could use a little nap before I go to the guild…"

"_Don't oversleep!"_ As if sensing her mate's plan, Lucy warned Natsu through telepathy.

"_**Just wake me up, Lu. Thanks!"**_

"_Geez, you big baby. Fine! Sweet dreams!"_

"_**Love you, too…"**_ And Natsu went to the sea of dreams involving food and Lucy.

"And off he goes…" She giggled softly at her husband's snores.

* * *

><p>After talking to her landlady, who was puzzled on why her tenant would suddenly move out, Lucy headed towards the guild. She almost forgot that Natsu took a nap so she woke him up during her walk.<p>

"_Hey sleepyhead, I'm already heading towards the guild. Are you awake yet?"_

"_**Lushiiiie… food…"**_

Lucy sweatdropped. Her partner definitely slept in.

"_Natsu Dragneel, I'm already a few meters away from the guild and if you don't wake up right now I'll go back and talk to my landlady aga—"_

"_**OKAY I'M UP I'M UP!"**_

Lucy giggled at her lover's antics. _"Sorry dear. You were not waking up so I had to… I'll wait for you in the guild, alright? Love you!"_

"_**Ahaha Sorry… Gotta hop in the bath real quick and I'll come to you soon. Love you, too!"**_

She tried to cover her mouth to conceal her smile so that the townspeople would not deem her crazy. Nobody in town knew that she was Salamander's mate (yet) and nobody knew what abilities came along with it. So she kept her expressions during her telepathic conversations with her lover into a minimum to avoid issues concerning her sanity. But when the guild doors were in sight, she beamed and jogged towards her other home. Although, she paused when she noticed the lack of noise in the usually rowdy guild.

"_Maybe because Natsu's not wreaking havoc in here, yet?"_

"_**HEY!"**_

"_Ooops."_

She finally stepped inside the guild and decided to do her usual routine of greeting everyone.

"Good morning guys! What is going on here?" All eyes were on the blonde mage. Lucy thought they were frozen at the moment and then they suddenly let out a large sigh of relief when they realized that it was her who called. '_Weird…'_

"God, it's just you Lucy!" Cana laughed as she approached Lucy and tapped her back.

'_Just me?' _She raised her eyebrow but dismissed her question quickly to address a more obvious… problem.

"Why were you huddled in a group?" She examined the members present. She saw Gray, Erza, Juvia, Wendy, Charle, Mirajane, Lisanna, Elfman, the Raijinshuu, Laxus, Levy, Gajeel, Patherlily, Jet, Droy, Macao, Wakaba, Romeo and other familiar faces were included. '_Are they in a cult or something?' _She quickly dismissed the thought as Cana spoke.

"Oh, we were just talking about Natsu!" Lucy raised her brow as she heard Natsu's name. '_Were they… gossiping about Natsu?'_

"_**What about me, Lu?"**_

"_Oh uh hi love, I was about to ask Cana…"_

Lucy then voiced her lover's thoughts, "What about Natsu?"

"It's about how dense the flame-brain is!" A very… naked Gray spoke.

"_**Lucy, what?"**_

"_Gray said that it's about how dense you are."_

"_**That ice princess…"**_

"Well, being dense is better than being naked pervert though."

"_**HAHA YOU GO LU!"**_

"_Hush child, this conversation seems to be very interesting."_

"…_**you're such a gossip."**_

"_Hmph. You'll see!"_ Lucy tried to ignore Natsu's thoughts temporarily as she watched Gray scramble to gather his clothing.

This time, it was Erza who spoke, "We were just wondering if Natsu could be affected by girls."

Lucy laughed in her mind when she heard Erza's statement.

"_**Lu? Are you… okay?"**_

"_Oh my Mavis Natsu, Erza said that they were wondering if you could be affected by girls! This is so precious! Haha!"_ She tried not to laugh in real life or else Erza would chop her to pieces.

"_**What kind of a question is that!? Of course duh! Just Lucy though. "**_

"_N-Natsu!"_ Lucy internally squeaked out of embarrassment.

Lucy sweatdropped once again as she tried to evade Erza's sword that she unconsciously pointed at her neck. "Uhh Erza we could wonder all day but please… the sword?"

"Oh, sorry. Habit." Erza withdrew her sword.

'_Well those habits might kill someone!'_

"_**Did Erza do something to you, Lucy!?"**_

"_Ah no, don't worry. It's… nothing. Just her usual habits__**…"**_ And Lucy swore that she felt her lover's shivers when she mentioned Erza's 'usual habits'.

"_**She what?"**_

"_Nevermind that! I'm okay, just hush for a moment!"_

"_**Fine… great. People are gossiping about me, yay. And the love of my life might help the enemy…"**_

"_Oh stop being a drama queen! Of course, I'm always on your side. Ever heard of investigating?"_

She had a hunch that Natsu's pouting right now. Good thing she can't see him now or else she'll give in.

Meanwhile, Levy told Lucy that they were forming a plan to make Natsu more aware of the opposite sex. And also…

"_Wait what!? They're dragging me into this!?__"_

_"**Geez, these people are so weird… "**_

Lucy inwardly groaned.

"Uhm guys? Care to elaborate this… wonderful _**plan**_?" Lucy tapped her foot as she waited for a reply.

"We decided that you'll be the perfect candidate to make this plan happen." Erza answered.

"And why the hell did you think that I'll participate in this stupid plan?" Lucy twitched. '_This is ridiculous!'_

"I suddenly feel like something unpleasant's going to happen to me…"

"_**My poor, poor Lucy. Let your dragon steal you away!"**_

"_Don't forget, this is plan was about you."_

_**"Tch. Weirdo princess."**_

_"Better than a dense dragon idiot."_

This time, Lucy's sure that Natsu just groaned from wherever he was right now.

"Because you obviously love Natsu!" Everyone shouted in unison.

"WHAAAAT!?" Lucy blushed as she looked around in panic to check whether other people were listening. Luckily, there was none.

"_Shit they know already!?"_

"_**What did they know!?"**_

"_They told me that they chose me because I obviously love you! Holy shit are we bust—"_

"_**L-Lu, calm down!" **_Natsu knew Lucy doesn't use curse words and its usage means she's panicking so he tried to calm her down… as best as he could through telepathy.

"_How could I—"_

"Don't underestimate the eyes of the resident matchmaker in the guild!" Mira winked at the profusely sweating Lucy.

_"Oh."_

_"**See, they don't know. We hid it well, okay? Damn, I want to hug you right now."**_

_"Me, too. Hug me lots later, 'kay? I'll just... find a way out of this mess."_

_**"Anything for you, Lu."**_

Lucy tried to protest her involvement in the plan but was interrupted by Erza's command. "Lucy, you'll do the mission asap."

'_God damn it, Erza and your scary threats!' _"A-Aye…"

"_Natsuuu, save meee— And I want your hug now!"_

"_**Lucy!"**_

"_Where are youuuu?"_

"_**I'm halfway towards the guild. Geez, those people are being too pushy…"**_

"_What in the world is going on with their heads? Using me to 'seduce' you just to prove that you can be affected by girls…"_

"_**They're stupid. And they're Fairy Tail."**_

Lucy groaned once again.

She was being escorted by Erza and Gray towards her apartment in Strawberry Street when something suddenly clicked into her head.

"'_Tsu?"_

**"Yes, Lu?"**

_"I have an idea."_ And Natsu swore that he felt his lover's menacing aura reach him.

And then he understood.

He smirked.

* * *

><p>"Erza?"<p>

"What is it, Lucy?"

"Are you sure you wanted to do this?"

"Why I'm sure I have no doubts. If Natsu breaks his denseness, there's a high chance that you'll be keeping him on a leash and reduce the damages on every mission! Master would be delighted!" Erza stated proudly.

"_But I'm already tied to him yet his destruction…"_

"_**Hey!"**_

"A-Ah I see. But d-do I really have to uhh wear this?" Lucy shifted uncomfortably on her bed. She was wearing Erza's seduction armor.

"Are you doubting my capability to think of a strategy, Lucy!?"

"NO ERZA I THINK IT'S GREAT!" Lucy nervously chuckled as she backed away from Erza's evil aura.

She also tried to ignore the soft chuckles of her lover in her head.

"Good. Now remember to make Natsu realize about a woman's charm. You are the most qualified of all because you're his partner. Do you understand me?"

"_You have no idea, Erza…"_

"_**What about Erza?"**_

"_Nothing…"_

"_**Okay?"**_

"Eh, even if Lucy jumped naked on Flame Brain, I don't think he'll get it. He's an idiot!" Gray laughed until Erza threw him outside Lucy's window.

"_Even if I'm pissed off about Gray's comment, did Erza really have to throw him to next week?!"_Lucy thought.

"_**Eh, whatever it is, he definitely deserved it."**_

"_Ah, of course he did… of course he did..." _

"We have installed a Lacrima video recorder on your ceiling so that the group could monitor you. And if you need help, just shout and we'll come."

"O-Okay?" _'Okay if something weird happened to us then they're gonna see it!? Great now the guild would see me in this outfit!'_

_"**Isn't that great, though? Actions speak louder than words!"**_

_"Aren't you a bit mad that everyone's gonna see me... wearing... that?"_

_**"Oh, I'm mad. But they're not able to touch so sucks to be them."**_

_"See Natsu? You did learn something good from books. Being calm!"_

_**"What? But eh, just books that you read aloud to me."**_Lucy giggled.

"Good. Now wait for Natsu and I'll head off to the Guild." Erza jumped off from the window.

"Use the door instead!" Lucy exclaimed. She sighed and plopped onto her bed.

"My friends are crazy. A different kind of crazy. They really are a bunch of—" Lucy screamed out of frustration and buried her head in her pillow.

'_Natsu.'_

"_They're gone. Remember, come here after an hour."_

"_**Sure Lu, I'm all fired up!"**_

* * *

><p>An hour later, Lucy's window lock clicked and opened. She wasn't really shocked to see her Fire Dragon Slayer 'friend' enter her room via window.<p>

"Haven't I told you to use the damn door?"

"Eh, what's the thrill in that Luce?" He grinned. _**"And you're not complaining anymore after we…"**_

"_S-Shut up!"_

"Whatever, Natsu. What are you doing here? And where's Happy?" Lucy was covered by her blanket so she wasn't exposed. Yet. She tried to suppress the gleam in her eyes so that her act would not be messed up.

"Happy's with Wendy. Anyway, I'm hungryyyyyyyyy." Natsu whined.

"My house is not a restaurant…" Lucy deadpanned.

"But Luuuuce, I can't even walk to the Guild 'cause I'm too hungryyyyyyy!" Natsu dramatically clutched his stomach and kneeled to the floor.

"Fine!" Lucy abruptly stood up completely forgetting about her attire. _'Oh shit I'm in Erza's seduction armor!'_

Lucy noticed, even if it lasted only a second, Natsu's devilish smirk and she knew that he's secretly enjoying the sight. He covered it damn well by looking so oblivious while jumping around in glee like a child because of the promise of Lucy's cooking. She tried to make her acting as real as possible by muttering, "Still unfazed as ever…" while frowning as she headed to the kitchen to make Natsu's meal. But deep inside, she was smirking, too.

"_**I bet everyone in the guild is currently slapping their foreheads because of my superior act!"**_He masked his smug expression with his scarf while he sat on Lucy's bed.

"_Except for Gajeel, Laxus and Wendy. We know that he knows. But I'm certain that they're currently berating you because you did not even spare a single glance at this beautiful maiden…" _Lucy fake sniffed in her head.

"_**Oh please, Lu. After every night, do you think I'm not currently planning on what I'll do to you later in that armor… hmm?"**_

"…_pervert."_

* * *

><p>Back at the guild…<p>

The whole group back in Fairy Tail minus Wendy due to uhh reasons— who were currently holed up in the stockroom— groaned and slapped their foreheads (while the others were still wiping some blood due to the blonde's… show).

"I'm telling you, that's dipshit's as dense as a rock!" Gray shouted as Juvia wrapped bandages around his bicep – really she's trying her best not to melt— due to Erza's beating earlier.

'_Love-rival really needs to seduce Natsu-san so that she'll not steal Juvia's Gray-sama!' _Juvia thought.

"He's not appreciating Lucy-chan's appeal at all!" Wakaba complained.

"Who in the right mind would resist that!? She's basically letting him devour her—"

"Macao shut up! You're disgusting!" Cana threw her empty barrel towards Macao.

"Ugh Natsu is an idiot!" Lisanna gnawed on her handkerchief out of frustration.

"Poor Lu-chan…" Levy frowned.

"Well, it's just the beginning so let's just sit back and relax, okay?" Mira smiled sweetly as she served her guildmates some drinks to pass the time.

"Tsk. Idiots. Idiots everywhere." Gajeel grunted.

* * *

><p>Back to Lucy's Apartment…<p>

"Geez, thanks Lucy!" Natsu rubbed his belly as he sunk further Lucy's couch. "Man, that hit the spot!"

"You're welcome." Lucy collected the dishes and then placed them to the sink. She decided she'll wash them later.

"_**Damn, Lu. Next time, I'm gonna make you wear an apron when you cook or clean the house. Just an apron."**_

"_I'm going to sic Aquarius on you later, dragon boy."_

"_**I doubt it. You're gonna be washed away, too if ya did."**_

"_You're a big pervert. Geez, just start already!"_

"_**Fine. I'm pretty sure this will kill them."**_

"_Don't just kill your friends so easily…"_

"Lucy." Lucy flinched as she realized that Natsu's tone had changed into a serious one. She noticed that she was staring at her, scanning her from head to toe (and stopping at certain places.)

"W-What?" Lucy stammered at she fidgeted.

Natsu stood up until he faced Lucy.

* * *

><p>"LOOK I KNEW IT IT WORKED—" Mira squealed as she saw Natsu approach Lucy and reached for the blonde's shoulders.<p>

"Shh Mira! I can't hear them geez!" Gray complained.

* * *

><p><span>"<em><strong>I swear I heard Mira…"<strong>_

"_Me, too…"_

"_**Oh well nevermind, where was I…"**_

Natsu stared at Lucy's brown orbs. After a minute of silence, Natsu spoke.

"You look really weird Lucy. Aren't you cold in that?" Natsu's face looked confused as he tilted his head.

* * *

><p>Everyone dropped from their seats.<p>

"This is hopeless!"

"Oh God it's too painful to watch!"

"This is too frustrating!"

"Damn dense idiots! I'm telling you— IDIOTS!"

"Can I just cry now…"

"WAIT!" Lisanna shouted— which she doesn't do often so it shut the guild up.

Mira, who was still wiping her tears, tilted her head and questioned her little sister, "What's up Lisanna?"

"Hey guys maybe if Lisanna was the one who did the 'mission' maybe Natsu may have—" Gray was cut off by Lisanna.

"HELL NO! Look at the screen!" Lisanna pointed at the screen— which showed them the smirking faces of Lucy and Natsu…

"Are they—"

"Smirking at the lacrimacorder?"

* * *

><p>Natsu and Lucy looked at each other and grinned.<p>

"_I just hope nobody dies due to heart attack…"_

"_**I doubt it. Oh well, now then finally it's—"**_

"—_showtime."_

"So Lucy…" Natsu smirked and pulled Lucy's hand and threw her gently on the bed. "Do you want me to warm you up?"

"I don't know, Natsu." Lucy bit her lip seductively. Her clothes didn't really help either. "Well, I suppose you could fire me up?"

Natsu climbed on the bed and hovered over Lucy's body. "Well then if that's what my queen wants…" He whispered then kissed her passionately on the lips. He broke away after a minute leaving both of them panting.

"But I guess we can't really continue if we have an audience, can we?" Natsu and Lucy looked at the lacrimacorder on Lucy's ceiling before the fire dragon slayer blasted the device.

"_**Game over."**_

* * *

><p>The screen turned blank.<p>

Everyone who was watching the two had their jaws dropped on the floor. Well maybe except for Gajeel who was gagging.

They were confused on what was going on. Gajeel summarized how dragon slayer mating works, but not everything was covered. But a certain white-haired barmaid was fuming in a corner.

Mira was trembling from her position. Everyone sensed the dangerous aura surrounding the Demon Take-Over mage so they backed away.

"WHY!"

"EEEEEK!" Everyone— Except Erza and Laxus— shrieked in terror.

"WHY DID NATSU CUT OFF THE VIDEO GOD DAMN IT I WANTED TO WATCH!" Mirajane shouted in fury.

"That's your problem!?" Everyone exclaimed.

* * *

><p>After laughing for almost an hour, the two finally calmed down and snuggled in Lucy's bed.<p>

"**We should have installed cameras around them so that we could see their faces."**Natsu spoke to Lucy through telepathy.

"_Consider it done. Our little secret agent is on his way towards his tower of fish__."_Lucy smugly replied.

Natsu and Lucy silently thanked Mavis for the result because they learned how to act in a job that the two of them took a while ago.

"God, I love you so much Lucy." He kissed her cheek and buried his head on the crook of her neck.

"Me too, Natsu." She snuggled further to her mate's warmth. "I love you too damn much."

"I'm excited to return to the guild tomorrow!"

Lucy chuckled. "You played the dense card well, Dragneel. Well played."

"Of course. I've been wanting to see the day that I'll see their gobsmacked faces— and that I got laid before Ice princess!"

Lucy smacked his chest playfully then laughed along with Natsu. "Don't tell them that! It's personal!"

"But you liiiiiiiiiked it~" Natsu rolled his tongue then smirked at the blonde.

"S-stop it!" Lucy buried her face against his chest to hide her intense blushing.

In return, Natsu leaned into her ear and whispered his reply. "That's not what you said last night."

"Eeeeek! Pervert! Who told the guild that Natsu is an idiot at things like this!" Lucy tried to escape from Natsu's firm hold while he laughed hard.

"Lucyyyy, it's not my fault if my dragon slayer instinct suddenly wanted to be a pervert— I became like this because of youuuuu" Natsu whined.

"Ugh you and your dragon slayer instincts!" Lucy groaned.

"Well since at least they know about my 'denseness'— oh Mavis I'll never live this down—, don't you think it's time to wear our rings properly?" Natsu suggested.

The two devils smirked, thinking of the guild's faces when they suddenly drop the marriage bomb the next day.

"_But Natsu, wait…"_

"_**Why Lu?"**_

"_Are you sure you wanna go to the guild tomorrow?"_

"_**Why not?"**_

Lucy chuckled nervously, _"I just have a bad feeling…"_

"_**A bad feeling?"**_

"_You do know that Erza and Mira were a part of this…plan, right?"_

"_**Yeah? So wha—"**_

"HOLY SHIT LUCY WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Natsu abruptly sat up taking Lucy along with him.

"Natsu!"

"Don't worry Lucy, I'll protect you from evil! Do you want to migrate to another country so that we could start a family—"

"**Natsu!"**

"Or do you wanna change identities—"

"**NATSU!"**

"**WHAT!?"**

"Geez, calm down. I'm also a nervous wreck in here but… we could just go to the guild a few days after…"

"You know that everyone knows where you live, right?"

"Ugh don't remind me… but who told you I was gonna live here? I was supposed to be packing now, right?"'

"Oh yeah… We could just hide in my house for a while!"

"But first, we should get Happy… if they catch him—"

"NATSUUU! LUSHIIIIE!"

"Speak of the devil…" Lucy muttered and opened the window so that Happy could come in.

"Yo, buddy! Ready to hide for a few days?" Natsu waved at his best feline friend.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk Natsu-chan. I'm gonna hang out with Charle while you 'exile' yourselves! The guild doesn't know that I was involved in your devious scheme… yet." Happy snickered.

"Oh okay, good for you. You were kinda prepared, huh?" Natsu grinned while ruffling Happy's head.

"So Lushie, where's my mountain of fish!?" Happy started to drool at the mention of fish.

"You have to give me something first." Lucy suddenly slapped her businesswoman face on. Guess those tutoring sessions back in the Heartfilia estate weren't a waste after all.

"Aye sir!" Happy handed her the lacrima video that he secretly sneaked in to the guild stockroom.

"Good cat. Now go to the fridge and retrieve your reward!" Lucy pointed towards the kitchen and without doubt, Happy was faster than light in reaching his prize.

"Pretty sneaky, Lu."

"Well, since I'm not gonna pay for rent here anymore, might as well spoil you two."

"Us two, huh? But where's mine?"

"Wait for dinner, hun."

"I'm all fired up!" Natsu fist-pumped and then hugged his beautiful wife.

But they both froze when they heard loud banging on the door.

"But for now… let's scram!"

"Goddamn, they're here already!?"

"Oh yeah, Natsu, Lushie, Mira was suuuuuper pissed off that you broke the lacrimacorder here. She wanted to watch and when the screen turned black, she went Satan Soul and… you know…"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US THAT FIRST, DAMN CAT!" Lucy shrieked.

"No time for that, Lu! Let's go away from here!"

"But where—"

Natsu smirked as he hoisted Lucy up his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and stepped on the window ledge.

"Guess."

"N-No way…"

"No choice, love."

And then he jumped.

"Eeeeek! Natsuuuuuuu!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I did this on impulse. I didn't know what I was doing. I wrote this today and now... this was the result. Forgive me? ;u;<strong>

**Next chapter's gonna be the confrontation? I'm not really sure... Might explain how mates work and why they hid their relationship and their marriage... yeah.**

**Thank you for reading! :)**


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